Life

Being in my head…

…is kind of like being in the head of someone who’s smoked a lot of weed but has also taken a lot of speed. No, it’s pretty much exactly like that. I have all these weird, random thoughts like a pothead, but they happen a mile a minute like a crankster. (Is that a word to describe meth junkies? If not, it should be.) Most of you have already noticed this, I think.

So, given that, who would actually attend a dinner party hosted by me? Probably no one because reading my blog is one thing but subjecting yourself to my actual physical presence? Might require a lot of drinking and/or Xanax. For both of us. So, lucky you, it’s only a virtual dinner party (although if any of you lot want to have an actual dinner party, e-mail me, and we’ll work out details because hello? I would love to meet each and every one of you face to face). This was all Auds‘ idea, and as I told her in comments, it is at once the most brilliant idea ever and the most sadistic idea ever. I’ve spent almost a week agonizing over the folks I’d ask to come break (virtual) bread with me.

I’ve finally come up with a list, and I admit - ADD struck. I’d think, “Okay. I’m going to invite Missy because hello? BFFs 4 LYFE. But wait, she’s my co-author, so that’s kind of pointless, plus like if she’d have time to come to a dinner party with her wedding being in just over a month, and hmm, I wonder if she’d prefer a silver anklet from me ’cause that would be better with her other jewelry. I should probably ask her about that. Except I’m not sure I know where the silver one is for sure, and maybe this would be a good reason to go get a new silver anklet. I should go price those out, and ooooohhh…SHINY!” Rinse, repeat. So, I wound up picking them at random. We’ll all live.

With further ado, my list.
1. Myra. I love Myra. No, seriously. Myra is a talented designer, a great wife, a great mom and to top all that off? She’s a genuinely nice person. I’d like to get a couple of drinks in her to see if she stayed nice or if she’d join me in the kitchen to snark on celebrities and their hideous choices.
2. Tootsie Farklepants. And I’d make her wear a nametag that said that even though I’m 99.9% certain that’s not her actual name, but it kind of should be just so that I can believe in magic again.
3. Noel because every dinner party needs someone brainy and fun. I’m only one of those two things, and no one (including me) is ever sure which I’ll choose on any given day.
4. Queen Bee. Mostly because I just like her, and I don’t know her nearly as well as I’d like.
5. Modern Single Momma. She’s someone else I like and would like to get to know better. Plus, I need her to spill the juicy details of her recent trip.
6. The Bloggess. Oh, what? Y’all didn’t see that one coming? Come on.
7. flickrlovr who would also be required to wear a nametag that said that just because it would be hilarious to hear people say that name when they’re drunk. (This also applies to Farklepants.)
8. Mommy Pie…she looks like a fun girl, even sober.
9. Undomestic Diva because…well, just because.
10. Deb. Because Going Geico is something I must see in person.

Please, for the love of God, don’t anyone feel excluded by this list. Please?

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