Dear Brett

by Steph on August 7, 2008

You know I love you like crazy. I have loved you for a good, long while now, in fact. Which is why I feel like we need to have a talk about your current state of complete insanity.

Honey, what are you doing? You retired in March. It was graceful and gracious. It was beautifully timed. The way you got a little weepy about leaving the NFL? Priceless. We will all remember you as the Packers’ Best Quarterback Ever, that unfortunate time in Atlanta notwithstanding. It was, after all, just your rookie season.

Well, that’s how we would have remembered you if you hadn’t lost your freaking mind. The Jets, Brett? Really? Now you’re like Joe Montana. (Becky, I know you love Joe, but outside of Chiefs’ fans, does anyone remember him as the Chiefs’ quarterback? No. Also? Don’t hit me.) Or maybe Michael Jordan. (That time with the Wizards? God help us all.) Or Mark Martin. (Sorry, DEI fans, but I had to say it.) You’re the guy who doesn’t know when to stop. freaking. playing. because you’re still good enough to stay in the pros.

But as I’ve oft opined – the fact that you can doesn’t mean you should. Please, for the love of all of us who love you so dearly, hang it up. Spend some time with Deanna. Teach Brittany how to spot a jerk. Help Breleigh build a treehouse. Whatever. Just don’t be a dumbass and play football for the Jets. (No offense to the Jets.)

Since it’s too late for you to make another graceful exit, just make a damn exit. Please?

Oh-so-sincerely,
Peyton Manning’s new #1 fan (Again, Becky, don’t hit me.)

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{ 23 comments }

1
Vote -1 Vote +1Missy August 7, 2008 at 7:04 am

Is it bad that I had to google what you were talking about?

2
Vote -1 Vote +1Candy August 7, 2008 at 8:37 am

Yeah, what is wrong with these athletes? I’m a New Yorker and even I think he’s nuts to come to the Jets. I bet Chad Pennington feels even worse.

3
Vote -1 Vote +1Queen Bee August 7, 2008 at 9:27 am

Seriously, the guy needs to quit. I can’t believe. AND did you hear the trade agreement? If the J-E-T-S JETS go to the Superbowl, they have to give up a number 1 draft pick. WOWZA. He just needs to quit. It’s getting embarrassing for all of us.

4
Vote -1 Vote +1Lindsey August 7, 2008 at 9:31 am

As a 28-year Chicago resident, I must agree heartily with your assessment. Michael promised he’d never play for any team but the Bulls. Then again, he promised Juanita he’d love, honor, and be faithful to her. Guess his prmoises are worth about as much as I’ll-never-coach-for-any-team-but-the-Bulls Phil Jackson. Hmph. Not that I’m bitter.

5
Vote -1 Vote +1ayeita August 7, 2008 at 10:01 am

Here in the frozen tundra (well not quite frozen yet but give us a month or 2) We are devastated. Why did he retire at all? Why not let him come back and make sure he retires a Packer? The whole situation just rubs!!

6
Vote -1 Vote +1Celeste August 7, 2008 at 10:34 am

Yeppers. And to boot, I’m sick and freakin’ tired of hearing about him. It’s times like this that I curse my ESPN watching hubby. It’s the same crap about Brett over and over and over again. Grrr…

7
Vote -1 Vote +1matteroffactmommy August 7, 2008 at 11:53 am

amen!

i have always been a brett fah-vruh fan. who isn’t!? but now? i’m totally cornfused and don’t know wtf to think.

(btw, i was a HUGE montana fan, so yeah – i remember when he was QB for the chiefs – but that doesn’t make it right!)

8
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph August 7, 2008 at 2:26 pm

Missy – No. But it’s proof Ged isn’t into ESPN nearly as much as Bill is. Lucky girl.

Candy – It’s not the Jets really, so much as that he’s playing for anyone but the Packers. It’s ridiculous.

I hope CP doesn’t feel bad, though. I mean, shit, it IS Brett “I’m in the Hall of Fame the minute I’m eligible” Favre who’s taking his gig.

QB – I hadn’t heard that little detail yet. Gawd. Like he’s going to get them to the big dance. Why isn’t Deanna (his wife, for those who don’t know) telling him to cut it out already?

Lindsey – DOOOOD! I’m bitter over Phil, too!! I’m like, “Lakers? THE FUCKING-ME LAKERS? PHIL!” I might have been as pissed at him as I was at Roy Williams for leaving KU. That fucker.

ayeita – I think it was a big ol’ pissing match, to be honest. Brett wanted a good receiver (Randy Moss, anyone?), and the Packers said no. He said it was cool, he’d just retire. They said fine, do that. And then it just escalated. It was all boys being boys with more testosterone than sense, IMO.

Celeste – Ah, I feel your pain. Worse, I’m now an ESPN junkie, too. Mike & Mike in the Morning? LOVE it. God help me.

MoFM – Brett was my dude, and one of the things I loved so much about him was his supposed loyalty to the Packers. That fucker. And if he had to leave the Packers, the only team I could have accepted him choosing would be the KC Chiefs. Heh.

Re: Joe – I stand corrected. Hee. Also? Becky (my SIL) will be all, “BOOYA! I’m NOT the only one who remembers Joe was here!” Hee again.

9
Vote -1 Vote +1Celeste August 7, 2008 at 3:09 pm

I’m not an ESPN junkie (yet) but I do throw out my own quips and barbs during PTI and the like. Where do they find these morons for these shows? Oh yeah, I forgot. ;)

10
Vote -1 Vote +1Bill August 7, 2008 at 3:16 pm

I take back the bad thoughts I had about the readers here for talking about the only good thing about baseball was the tight pants. Your interest in the Favre situation warms my heart.

Just another update, Chad Pennington will either be cut or traded very soon. Don’t feel bad for him.

Another trade clause says that if the Jets are assholes and trade Favre to the Vikings (which is what the Packers wanted to avoid) the Jets will owe the Packers THREE number one picks.

The lesson in this situation is, don’t get attached, there is very little loyalty in sports today.

11
Vote -1 Vote +1Queen Bee August 7, 2008 at 5:58 pm

Bill-See? we’re smart football women! I come up with my husband’s fantasy team name every year.
I’m kinda surprised they put a clause in there about trading to the vikings. Wouldn’t that be funny? In a really dark and evil way. He would deserve it.

12
Vote -1 Vote +1mommyto2 August 7, 2008 at 7:02 pm

I’m not even into football, but that was darn Funny!
I have given you an award. You can pick it up onmy site.
http://mommyto2.bravejournal.com

Look forward to reading more.

13
Vote -1 Vote +1San Diego Momma August 7, 2008 at 8:48 pm

I don’t know anything about Brett, other than he made a guest appearance in “Something About Mary,” but you wrote that really well.
And heartfelt.

14
Vote -1 Vote +1myra August 7, 2008 at 8:59 pm

Ok, I do know who Brett is. But that’s where it ends. I’m always jealous of women who are footballs fans. Wish I could be.

15
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph August 7, 2008 at 9:58 pm

@myra – I don’t know that I can lay claim to being a *fan necessarily, but I watch here and there. This shit, though? Impossible to ignore since it’s the only story getting any airtime.

@San Diego Momma – Clearly, I watch too much freaking ESPN. I blame Bill.

@Queen Bee – He actually wants to go to the Vikes. :)

@Bill – Can the Jets trade him to someone else without repercussions?

@Celeste – I swear, you should see me when I watch Mike & Mike. I’ve actually SHOUTED at the TV. It’s an illness.

16
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph August 7, 2008 at 10:40 pm

@mommyto2 – Well, thank you! :)

17
Vote -1 Vote +1Bill August 8, 2008 at 8:20 am

I have heard nothing barring a trade from say the Jets to the Chiefs, and then the Chiefs trade him to Minnesota. I would suspect the clause would read somethig like this, “In the next three years, if Brett Favre plays for any NFC North team(The division the Vikings are in) other than the Green Bay Packers, the Jets must give the Packers their next three first round draft picks”@Steph – Type your comment here.

18
Vote -1 Vote +1Bill August 8, 2008 at 8:22 am

@Steph – Don’t tell me how I am not smart enough to work your new technology, I just didn’t read, and I couldn’t edit my comment.

19
Vote -1 Vote +1Queen Bee August 8, 2008 at 12:16 pm

Oh I know he wants to go to the Vikes, I’m saying that it would be evil/funny for the Jets and the Packers to be in that predicament (sp?). Sneakiness on all sizes of the NFL.

20
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph August 8, 2008 at 1:06 pm

@Bill – Baaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahaha. Oh. Sorry.

@Queen Bee – It would be great, if you ask me. I’d love to see Brett go to the Vikes, but I might be bitter about the Packers right now.

21
Vote -1 Vote +1Jane August 9, 2008 at 10:32 pm

Steph and Bill — I’m currently cranky about the Jim Edmonds Cards/Cubs switcheroo. Kevin says it’s an okay deal because that’s how we got Ankiele, but those Chicago mugs BOOED his ass for a long time, and now that he’s kicking ass, they’re putting up smug signs in the stands like “Don’t you wish you had him back NOW???” Grrr. Edmonds, I miss ya.

22
Vote -1 Vote +1Jane August 9, 2008 at 10:32 pm

P.S. I’m still quite fond of tight baseball pants…

23
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph August 10, 2008 at 12:47 am

@Jane – Erm. Yeah. I know jack about baseball, except I love Josh Hamilton. :D

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