I’m finally bigtime!!

by Steph on June 26, 2008

At least in my own little head. I got my very first hatemail. And it was from someone who gave a fake name and fake e-mail! Today is a happy day in my little world. As goofy as it might be, I feel like I’m finally a “real” blogger. I feel very Dooce-like today. So following in Dooce’s footsteps, I’m going to share the mail with y’all and provide commentary.

Hello The Stephford Diaries, [Hee. I have no idea how to change this, but I like the idea that I am my blog.]

You are being contacted via The Stephford Diaries by ms. not likingu. ms. not likingu has provided the following information so you may contact them: [It's fakeity-fake, though, because "ms. not likingu" doesn't have the cojones to give a real e-mail address.]

Email: XXXXXXX_X_XXXXX@hotmail.com
Phone:
Website: http://
Subject: Other (explain below)

Message:
hello, you dont know me, [you're right - I don't know you. Likewise, you don't know me.] but you should be nice to your MIL. [According to my MIL, I am pretty nice to her. But thanks for your concern.] for her and darth and the bratwurst are feeding and housing your not so size 2 behind. [It's okay to call me a fatass. I say it all the time. And FTR, Heidi doesn't do jackshit for me. Janice and Gene, however, do feed and house me and my kids. I'm grateful for that, and they know it.] its one thing to poke fun but being a flat out bitch to the ones who are your only hope is not a good idea. [Given that my sister-in-law (that's Becky, the one who comments regularly?) reads this on a daily basis and that my MIL laughed her head off when she heard the entry, I'm going to guess my in-laws understand that I am, in fact, "poking fun". But again, thank you for your concern.] or, you can keep doing it, and MIL will find out and youre screwed no matter what! [See, here's the thing - there's nothing "secret" about my blog. I wear a frelling hat with "quirkyblogger.com" on it, FFS. My MIL is more than capable of finding and reading my blog on the days when I don't actually say, "Hey, Jan? Listen to this one!!" and proceed to read it to her. So that whole thing about her "finding out"? Kind of a moot issue.] and instead of st. phanie, it should be st. fanie! hee [You aren't the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you? Bless your tiny little head.]

Sincerely,
Steph

Tagged as: ,

Like a country gas station after midnight, comments on this entry are closed.

{ 25 comments }

1
Vote -1 Vote +1d June 26, 2008 at 2:12 pm

Bwahahahah! I’m dying.

My question to Guy Incognito would be, are you new? LOL

I like how they talk about you like they know you and the inner workings of your relationship with your MIL et al.

It just goes to show you how much they don’t know because the “Help me MIL, you’re my only hope” Star Wars statement couldn’t be more false. I can name about 5 people off the top of my head (including me) that would be awesomely happy if you lived with them. And I’m not talking about hotels.

And what’s with the dig at the “not size 2 behind?” Again, I beg the question: Are you fucking new? I can’t remember a time when you haven’t self professed to being “a fat bitch.”

For a hate mail, this is pretty fucking sad, I must say.

And of all the topics you’ve ever discussed on your blog, this one gets the hate mail? Must have touched a nerve with this asshat and hit a little too close to home. Perhaps they’re housing an ingrate and are projecting?

2
Vote -1 Vote +1Bill June 26, 2008 at 2:21 pm

As with most hatemail, this is just ignorant. Blessing ms. not likingu’s head is really all you can do. Congratulations on the hatemail. I am so proud of you.

3
Vote -1 Vote +1Missy June 26, 2008 at 2:22 pm

LAWLZ!!!! I love how this person thinks they knows your situation better than you do. Anybody who knows you even a little, knows that you love Jan & Darth Gene and are very grateful to them for taking y’all in. This be no secret dude.

But yay for the bigtime! WhoOTTTTTTTTT!!!

4
Vote -1 Vote +1Krystie Lee June 26, 2008 at 4:17 pm

Why waste the time to comment on something that you don’t like? Plus, it’s totally weak to do so under a fake e-mail. LAME-O!

Congrats, though! I never had hate mail before!

5
Vote -1 Vote +1Celeste June 26, 2008 at 5:26 pm

Yay for getting hatemail! Too bad its intellectually lacking though. That let’s a little air out of the balloon, ya know? As for a fake email addy, big-time lame. Tisk-tisk.

6
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph June 26, 2008 at 5:33 pm

d – See, that’s what killed me. Of ALLLLLLLlLlllllLLlll the stuff I’ve ever written, THIS yanked someone’s chain? Clearly, they ARE new.

Bill – Thanks, honey.

Missy – As Janice told me this morning, “As long as *we know how you feel, who cares what anyone else thinks?” I do love her.

Krystie Lee – It’s totally weaksauce to use the fake e-mail. And thanks! I felt entirely too honored here. Clearly, I need some help. Also? How the heck are you feeling?!?

Celeste – Please note all the restraint I showed in not red-penning the spelling and grammar. Hee.

7
Vote -1 Vote +1Noel June 26, 2008 at 5:52 pm

::wipes tears::

My little St. Phanie is growing up. Your very own hatemail – ::sob:: – where’s my baby blogger?

And ROFL. I definitely think, “What? Are you new?” applies. Really.

8
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph June 26, 2008 at 8:11 pm

Noel – I KNOW! I feel like I’m finally a REAL blogger! Hee.

9
Vote -1 Vote +1San Diego Momma June 26, 2008 at 8:35 pm

So will you still pretend to know me when you’re on BigTime St., and I pass you on Small Potatoes Ave.?

That made no sense. Seriously, I don’t know why I blog before I’ve eaten my Papa John’s pizza. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Bless my tiny little head.

10
Vote -1 Vote +1San Diego Momma June 26, 2008 at 8:36 pm

By the way! HA! The Masthead! Has that been around for days and I totally missed it?

Probably.

WHERE’S MY PAPA JOHN’S PIZZA, DAMMIT??????????????????????

11
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph June 26, 2008 at 8:40 pm

Deb – WhatEVS! You’re on Alltop, for cryin’ in the night! Also? You’re so one of the sharpest knives, so I will NOT bless your tiny little head. I’ll bless your smart, perfectly proportioned head. :nod: And? The masthead unveiled last night? Yes. Last night. I apparently need some Papa John’s, too. :grin:

12
Vote -1 Vote +1San Diego Momma June 26, 2008 at 8:52 pm

A tip:

Send Alltop an e-mail begging to be listed, and they do. True story.

I did it in a moment of wanting to keep up with the Joneses.

Don’t tell anyone but your 10,000 readers, please.

13
Vote -1 Vote +1Melanie June 26, 2008 at 10:53 pm

First, LOVE the new header!

Second, the hate mail? Cheap shots and totally lame. If ms. notlikingyou is reading GROW A PAIR!
If you stand so firmly behind your opinions, and you must because you were moved to respond, then own them like a Birkin bag.

Oh wait, she probably won’t know that it is, bless her little head.

14
Vote -1 Vote +1Jane June 26, 2008 at 11:59 pm

I think it’s “RatFink” wearing a disguise. ROFL
I agree, cheap shots, lame and totally, egregiously NEW. And her head is little but you forgot *pointed.

15
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph June 27, 2008 at 5:42 am

Deb – This is a handy tip. And? I will never spill the beans.

Melanie – Thank you! That header cracks me up every time I see it, so I’m glad y’all like it, too. :)

ms. not likingu is one of those people who likes to do some drive-by judgments. “I’ve read three of your posts, and now I will make pronouncements about your life and relationships from the safe anonymity of the intarwebz.” I gave her exactly as much thought as she deserved. :grin:

Jane – Right? WTF with all the haters on Missy’s blog yesterday? Jeeeeeeez.

I did NOT forget “pointed”, I just save that one for super-special occasions. :nod:

16
Vote -1 Vote +1Lindsey June 27, 2008 at 9:27 am

“not so size 2 behind” *snort*

Anyone who DOES have a size 2 behind should be the object of pity, in my humble opinion. It means they spend way too much time on cardio machines and never get to have that moment of food-orgasm when the chocolate-caramel-vanilla ice cream sin hits your tongue. Oh, and narcissists are usually lousy lays, too.

17
Vote -1 Vote +1Eden June 27, 2008 at 9:55 am

Bwah. This is just brimming with win.

18
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph June 27, 2008 at 12:18 pm

Lindsey – Right? My behind is not a size 2, but I get to eat Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Nom.

Eden – I love the Internet.

19
Vote -1 Vote +1myra June 27, 2008 at 7:30 pm

i’m just so proud! your first negative email! how does it feel to hit the big time? “bless your tiny little head…” why can’t i come up with stuff like that?

btw, i highly suggest chubby hubby.

20
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph June 27, 2008 at 8:38 pm

Myra – You don’t come up with stuff like that because you’re NICE. Unlike me. :grin: And Chubby Hubby? YUM! Also Chunky Monkey. NOM!

Perhaps this response explains why my behind is not-so-size-2. Hmm.

21
Vote -1 Vote +1Missy June 28, 2008 at 8:57 am

Lindsey – I think I love you for this comment. A life without ice cream (and chocolate cake and cream cheese icing and bacon and egg yolks) isn’t one worth living.

22
Vote -1 Vote +1Lisa June 29, 2008 at 2:04 am

Oh, jeeeeeeeeeez. For someone to give it this much thought and to be so worried about you finding out who it is, it sure seems to me like it’s someone you know. You know?

23
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph June 29, 2008 at 10:27 am

Lisa – I’m nearly certain I know who it is. But really? It doesn’t matter. If they couldn’t sign their name to it, I can’t take it seriously. :grin:

24
Vote -1 Vote +1matteroffactmommy June 30, 2008 at 10:07 pm

okay, i’ve been gone for a while so bear with me…

epistles from st. phanie. that shit is GOLD!

btw, if you think it makes you ‘big time’ to get the hate mail, then so be it. personally? i hate that shit… not that i’ve received hate mail directly, but i’ve received some pretty heavy comments on my site way back when. (note to self: don’t pick on fat people EVAR AGAIN…)

25
Vote -1 Vote +1Steph June 30, 2008 at 11:08 pm

MoFM – YOU MUST NEVER GO ON VACAY AGAIN!! Okay. I’m over it. But seriously, I was DYING for you to get back and see the new tagline and header. Hee.

I don’t mind hatemail. Love me, hate me, as long as you’re reading this thing, I’m thrilled. Vanity, thy name is Steph. Heh.

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