Really. I just feel all drained on Mondays. Plus, there are a kazillion and two things to do that don’t involve me sitting on my big butt and playing Sushi-Go-Round. (Which makes me very, very sad, but I digress.) So today’s post is going to be a random assortment of stuff that I’ve been meaning to say and just haven’t gotten to yet. (In other words, I’ll be your tour guide on today’s trip through ADDLand.)
First, the feeds post brought something out of the ADD fog, so I figure I’ll give y’all the heads up. I love helping people with geekery. No, really, I LOVE it. So, if you have questions or want help or whatever, feel free to pick my tiny little brain. I won’t mind even a little. I will probably, in fact, thank you for giving me something to figure out. I’m a geek like that. Seriously.
Next up - linky love. I’m one of those reciprocating types. If you link to me, I’ll link to you. It’s only fair, right? So, if you’ve linked to me, and I’ve failed to notice it, let me know. I want to fix that post-haste. No unrequited link-love for y’all, promise.
Last, this idea of “family friendly” I’ve got. Mostly, I just try really hard to not say the “big” swears too much. The other day, Merlin Mann said this via Twitter: “Almost anything can be ‘family friendly’ if your family is awesome and you’re not a normative dick.”
That? Made me pause. It made me consider just what do I mean by “family friendly”? Appropriate for kids? Well, no. I hope to God no one’s letting their kids read this thing. Or watch any of the videos that involve me ranting. (WwT will always be safe for the wee ones ’cause I know she plays to the younger set. :grin:) So…what exactly do I mean by “family friendly”? (You know, the more I type that, the weirder it gets. Familyfriendly. Weird.)
I mean “won’t turn people off with my excessive profanity and discussions about how I like to pretend Bill is a French maid sometimes.” Okay, maybe I’m lying about that last part, but you’re catching what I’m throwing here, right?
Then I read a post by matteroffactmommy (who is totally my new BFF even though I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m a stalker) about swearing, and I really started thinking. In real life, I swear…like a fucking sailor, if you will. (I’m sure at least a couple of you will.) My conversations contain a lot of words that should probably be bleeped, especially since we have a toddler in the house.
So, I’m sort of wondering why I censor myself here on my blog, the one place where I should be able to spill out every little thing in my head…where I usually do spill out every little thing in my head. Am I scared of pissing people off? Losing readers? What is my deal? I still don’t know.
So I come to you, dear readers, to ask - what is your personal stance on swears? Do they make you cringe? Are they part of your every day conversation? Somewhere in-between? Do you censor yourself on your blog? If so, why? If not, why not?
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15 responses so far ↓
1 Missy // May 5, 2008 at 11:22 am
Dude you know where I’m at on this. My 17 effbombs in 3 minutes is a mite unnecessary though. However I’m all for you cussing up a storm here.
2 Steph // May 5, 2008 at 11:31 am
Missy - Dude, I’m kind of thinking it’s like Eminem said, “Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records, but I do, so fuck him and fuck you, too.” So, some of the “big” bloggers don’t cuss - that’s great for them. But it ain’t me. :grin:
3 d // May 5, 2008 at 11:44 am
Well….I don’t think I really have to give my input here. This is how I treat your blog: It’s for adults and then Lorna gets to see videos of WwT.
I swear all the time in the comments and I’ve never really never given it a second thought until now….fuck. Maybe I shouldn’t be swearing.
But I digress. I’ve talked you in person. You’re one of my BFFs. Swearing is part of who Steph is to me. If you didn’t swear, would you still be awesome? Fuck yeah! But if it’s part of your personality, then I say swear like a sailor on your blog. Anyone who is offended by an f-bomb or “asshat” here and there need to chill or not read if they’re that uptight.
I think you should swear because really, some points just can’t get across as strongly unless you use an appropriate swear word.
For example, this conjures two images:
I was at the bank and there was a jerk who cut in line in front of me.
This conjures a random person who i have no real image of and he may not be a jerk all the time, he’s just acting like one in the moment.
I was at the bank and this fucking doucher cut in line in front of me.
See I get a totally different image. This guy is a doucher fuckface no matter where he goes and he just also happen to cut in front of you, which just shows 1 example of his douchery.
See, so swearing is a necessity for good description.
I quote a conversation between two sisters in the movie Sex, Lies and Videotape:
“Do you mean am I going to fuck him?”
“Why do you use that word? You use it just to bother me”
“I use that word because it’s des-crip-TIVE”
Am I making my views on this fucking clear? :)
4 Missy // May 5, 2008 at 11:48 am
D - that reminds me of a movie (I can’t recall the title) where he says “I’d rather fuck somebody than make love anyday.” So yeah, I agree its des-crip-TIVE!
5 Steph // May 5, 2008 at 12:54 pm
d - I LLOL’d. I probably won’t take it to the level I do IRL, but I’m for sure going to stop being so uptight.
6 Melanie // May 5, 2008 at 12:57 pm
My husband was a sailor and definitely kept the stereotype alive. I picked up on it and soon a night at our house sounded like an episode of The Sopranos. Then I got pregnant and realized we really needed to work on the language so baby’s first word wouldn’t be the eff bomb. That being said, sometimes the eff word is the only one that works.
Here in blogland, we’re allowed to turn the filters off. Good writers (of which you are) can swear without taking away from anything. I’ve been to some sites where the message is totally lost in a shit storm and I give up and move on.
So do what works for you and stay true to yourself.
7 Steph // May 5, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Melanie - I do try to contain myself a *little when the kids are around, but I can’t lie - when Matt was about two, we had a discussion about “grown folks’ words”. Same thing with Lenna. I’m sure I’ll have to have it with T-Money, too. :grin:
I promise not to go nuts with it. Honest.
8 Eden // May 5, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Blue words are perfectly cromulent. It’s ridiculous to avoid perfectly good, strong Anglo-Saxon words just b/c someone else might not like them. If they don’t, they don’t have to read what you’re writing IMFO. It’s like people who turned off to “Deadwood” b/c of the language. What they missed was a show so rich in language that I liked putting the captioning on just so I could catch everything.
I say: my blog is my house. I can say what I like in my house. If someone doesn’t like it, they don’t have to visit my fucking house.
9 Steph // May 5, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Eden - I agree completely. With all of it. I really think I had to get over this idea that I might offend someone. I’m guessing most of the people who actually read this sucker won’t give a shit what kind of language I use. :grin:
10 ayeita // May 5, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Let your freak flag (and your “F” bombs) fly, woman.
11 matteroffactmommy // May 5, 2008 at 11:12 pm
okay, wow. this has elicited quite a response, no?
i didn’t read all of the others’ comments, but i will say this… “curse words” are just words. and, if we were to take an honest poll of honest adults and ask them if they swear (the “big” swears) on a daily basis, their answer would be a resounding YES. it’s just the way adults talk during casual conversations. perhaps not while tottering through the office in a suit, but before and after work? definitely.
your blog is for adults… shit, it’s not like i’m bringing my 4yo and setting him in my lap when i read your blog sounding out the curse words… “efff, yooouuu, seeeee… THAT MEANS TO HAVE SEX!”
and don’t sensor yourself… please, GAWD DON’T SENSOR YOURSELF. it’s your blog. if people don’t like what you have to say, they don’t have to read. fuck ‘em. *teehee*
12 Steph // May 5, 2008 at 11:19 pm
ayeita - Right? Hopefully, I won’t scare the living shit out of everyone. :grin:
matteroffactBFF - I knew you’d be supportive of my need to throw out a fuck or two every so often. It’s just one of the many reasons you’re my new
stalkeeBFF. Plus, it was your post that inspired me to write mine.13 Noel // May 6, 2008 at 2:53 pm
LLOL. Working in the “boys’ club” for so long, my language is a bit…salty. I, too have tried to tone it down now that I have the kids. The Effing Loser bomb doesn’t play well at suburban preschool. So anyway, I don’t mind it. If you feel like carpet f bombing, have at it. :) Although oddly, I try not to do it on my blog, and I’m not sure why. ::ponders::
14 Deb // May 6, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I love it when people I love, love each other.
As for swearing, I did it a lot before kids. I mean, ALOTTALOT.
I love swearing. It’s so expressive.
But some kind of switch went off in my brain after kids. B/c for me, swearing is spontaneous. Nothing is lamer than someone who sounds like they’re swearing, just to swear (none of you apply). BUT for me, b/c I THOUGHT about swearing so much after kids and was so aware of my swearing, it no longer came out sailor-like and unfettered, instead I stutter-sweared and shit howdy, that sounded all kinds of gay.
So it’s like I can’t swear as much any more.
As for my blog, I admit to changing a “shit” to a “shaving cream,” or a “fuck” to a “flock” b/c I didn’t want to offend, but also because those swear substitutes are kinda funny.
Please someone tell me to stop commenting.
And finally: I agree with Eden, Matter of Fact, et all who say “go ahead and swear! this is your blog! and we love you!”
15 Steph // May 6, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Noel - See, I’ll tone it down for other people’s kids, but my own? Yeah. :X
Deb - I love you. Also? I bet if we got good and hammered, I could teach you to be sailor-like again. :nod: