So far, I haven’t felt compelled to expand on any of the x365s I’ve done. For me, they stand alone. Today’s is really no different, except hoo boy, I forgot about all our crazy neighbors in the ‘hood. I’m thinking “repressed those memories” might be a more accurate term than “forgot”, but that’s not the point.
There is no way for me to adequately do justice to the douchebaggery of Tom P. (Although, I think the x365 comes close.) Instead of trying to cover all the stories, I’m going to share one that I think pretty much epitomizes this man.
Renee (my best friend at the time, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms) and I were standing outside talking about Tom’s latest shenanigans - he had jerryrigged a camcorder in his front window so he could tape our kids as they played outside. He claimed it was so he’d have proof of which kids were damaging his Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder. Oh yeah, hot ride, dude, I’d be sweating it, too. Except the part where it was a POS when you first parked it and nothing changed.
ANYway, Tom pulled up and made some nasty comment. I told Tom to just go in and shut up; we weren’t interested in his crap. (Look, I have never, ever claimed to be diplomatic.) He told me he didn’t have to go in, I wasn’t the boss of him. No, really, he said that. Renee and I both started laughing. What else can you do with a doofus like this?
Tom started huffing and puffing and trash-talking, at which point I told him that I was more than willing to share with him what I’d recently learned about harassment from one’s neighbors. I also called him a “sonofabitch.” To which he responded, “Don’t swear in front of my son, you [not fit for print but rhymes with mucking bunt]!!”
At that point, I was seeing red. And? I was ready to throw down. (I’ve also never claimed to be terribly restrained. Or a pacifist.) I turned, thinking it was time for us to stop jacking our jaws and get down to business. Tom was thinking it was time for him to hightail it into his house with a B-movie starlet scream. Tom was faster than I was.
The next day, his wife appeared with a shiner that’d do a prizefighter proud. Like I said, total douchebag.
P.S. Have you entered the contest? No? What are you waiting for? It ends Thursday!
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2 responses so far ↓
1 Robbi // Apr 22, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Wow. He sounds like a really nice man. ::cough, cough:::
And I’ve been thinking of copying the 365 thing — I find myself in the car and in bed and in the shower and while pretending to work thinking of things I’d say to people I’d choose. But I’m 39, and using my age adds another 4 words. :-D Do you find that 35 is enough? Too much?
And the Twitter thing? I signed up, but I can’t figure out how to add people to track or whatever. It gives me the option to use my email account, but nothing pulls up. You *knew, Steph, when you told me about this that it would result in a complicated dilemna for me. :-D
And why am I saying all this in a comment instead of emailing? I don’t have an answer for that.
2 Steph // Apr 22, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Robbi - It just depends really. Sometimes, it’s so not even CLOSE to enough. Other times, I’m using “and” instead of a comma. LOL. I think once you set your formula, you’ll be fine. You don’t have to go with your age, by the way. Some people are doing haikus. Some are doing 5 sentences of 10 words each. Etc.
On the home page of this sucker, there’s a link that says “Follow…” You can click that to follow me. Once you get my profile up, you’ll see all the people I follow - just go from there. :) But make sure to follow Joshua Allen/fireland. He is amazing.
You can comment anytime, baybee. Or e-mail. It’s all good.