So, as many of you know, I have considered having “The Surgery.” Yes, that’s how I think of it. “The Surgery”…caps and quotes. Because, in my tiny little brain, it is worthy of that. My hysterectomy? No big whoop. Having babies? No big whoop. But “The Surgery”? Big effing whoop. VERY BIG EFFING WHOOP. (For just a moment, let’s put aside my lofty ambition to get comfortable in my own skin, okay?)
I have waffled and wavered on this for years now. I’ve had physicians who specialize in obesity tell me that I’m a perfect candidate for “The Surgery.” I’m morbidly obese, but in relatively good health. My co-morbidities (sleep apnea and PCOS) would be corrected with weight loss. I’m motivated, and I’ve proven that I really cannot lose weight by modifying my diet and exercise within reasonable limits. (I can, however, lose weight if I’m willing to eat less than 900 calories per day and work out 90 minutes per day.) These facts get me hyped on having “The Surgery”.
Then I read about the potential side effects of having this surgery, and I get scared. Very, very scared. 3% of women ages 35-44 who have this surgery are dead within a year of the surgery. DEAD. As in NOT LIVING. As in DEAD. But to put that into perspective for all of us, we’re talking about a group of people who had put some hard mileage on their bodies. I’m not judging; I’m fully aware that some of those people might very well have been leading active, healthy lifestyles. But to be real, that extra weight isn’t so easy on the ol’ body. Aside from that, 97% ain’t bad odds.
So, we’ll put aside the whole DEAD thing for a moment. Let’s move on to what I think of as the next worst side effect (is death really a side effect? I digress). Dumping Syndrome. Just go Google it. Gnarly, isn’t it? And most of you know about my weird bathroom issues. I’ll be honest - Dumping Syndrome? Scarier to me than croaking. Maybe because I believe I could get this, whereas I don’t believe “The Surgery” would actually kill me.
Now onto my last reason for not saying, “Cut me now, Doc”. Hair loss. Look. I don’t have that much hair as it is, thanks to a wonky thyroid (which is also part of the reason I’m morbidly obese, although it is not a co-morbidity). I’m not going for Sinead O’Connor’s look. Really.
So. I continue to waffle and waver about “The Surgery” for those reasons. But there’s another one. It’s ugly. I feel like I would be taking the “easy” way out. Like if I just tried a little bit harder, I wouldn’t need “The Surgery.” I should totally have enough willpower to eat less than 900 calories per day and bust my ass 90 minutes a day. If I weren’t such a loser, I wouldn’t even have to think about “The Surgery” because I would already be thin…or at least thin enough that “The Surgery” wouldn’t be an option.
Let’s think about that for a moment, shall we? I’m betting I’m not the only person who looks at “The Surgery” that way. But let me ask you this (I’ve asked myself the same question) - if you knew a pregnant woman who needed a c-section, would you say to her, “Well, you should try harder to deliver that baby vaginally. Until you prove to me that you’ve done all you can do, I’m going to believe you took the easy way out”? Or how about a guy who needs a heart bypass surgery due to cholesterol blockage? Are you going to say to him, “Dude, you need to diet and exercise and take the cholesterol drugs before I can validate your choice to have surgery”?
Now, I’ll grant that weight-loss surgery is different in that most patients probably won’t croak immediately if they don’t have it, unlike the c-section chick or the heart-bypass guy. However, is an obese person’s choice to have surgery to correct a health condition any less valid simply because their condition isn’t immediately life-threatening? I just don’t know.
So. What do y’all think?
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7 responses so far ↓
1 d // Mar 26, 2008 at 8:28 am
900 calories seems really really low to me. That’s barely any food at all. That coupled with the 90 min of exercise a day?
I mean I guess if you were really determined to do it that way you could and I’d totally support you.
But honestly, it seems unreasonable. For your height (which is close to mine) you should be able to consume 1500-2000 calories a day plus 30 min of exercise a day and lose weight.
So the 900 calories and 90 min seems way insane to me.
I’d be going for the surgery if it were me. Scary as it may be I see you have 3 choices:
1. stay as you are and learn to love it.
2. eat nothing and exercise all day.
3. risk surgery and come out a thinner healthier person.
I’d go for #3 or #1. You know after you have the surgery you’ll bust your ass to eat right and exercise, but it won’t have be no 900 calories and 90 minutes a day. It will be within the bounds of reason.
I’ll tell you right now though, if you’re considering surgery, you should stop teh smoking!!! That raises your risks!
2 Steph // Mar 26, 2008 at 10:19 am
d - But go read about hypothyroidism, dude. You’ll see it’s not just me that deals with that kind of crazy inability to lose weight.
And I know. I gotta quit the stupid things. AGAIN. Bleh. It seems a little contradictory to be all, “I gotta lose weight for my health” as I puff away. :headdesk:
3 Missy // Mar 26, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Honestly, its teh sadface I make that there isn’t a “Learn to love myself the way I am” option in that whole slew of options.
Yes I understand that you will statistically be healthier at a lower weight. However, eating 900 cals and starving does not sound healthier. Neither does bald or dumping syndrome (which I hate you for making me go look up - teh ick). Ya know what I mean?
Fat and happy. Thin and *healthy-sort-of-ish. Maybe the first step is fixing the inside thats telling you you need to be thin to be happy/healthy before you make any rash decisions to fix the outside. Or well, the inside technically but you know what I’m sayin here dude.
I’d love you even if your skinny jeans were a Lane Bryant size 9.
4 Missy // Mar 26, 2008 at 6:35 pm
BTW WHEN DID YOU START SMOKING AGAIN!!!!!
MY FIST + YOUR FACE = WAKE UP CALL FUCKER!!!!!
5 Steph // Mar 26, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Missy - I’m all bipolar now because of your first commment. I’m like, “Awww. LOVES MISS-AY!!” but then I read the LB size 9 thing, and I lost it. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahaha. I’ve decided against surgery…for now, at least. Dude, it’s just not worth it to be some size I have in my head as being the “right” size.
Smoking = farking security blanket. UGH!! HATE IT!! My tentative quit date is April 1. I’m sure I’ll hide in my bedroom and watch lots of TV and sleep and snuggle with Tricia and curse the world because I CAN’T HAVE A FUGGING CIGARETTE AND LIFE SUCKS!! But. I gotta quit. Period. Lung cancer = way not hawt.
6 Missy // Mar 26, 2008 at 7:20 pm
LOL!!! I was like this is way too gushy. Need to throw in some LOLZ for good measure. But seriously, I feel your pain. There is a skinny chick in my office that I’m totally jeliz of. However, I love being me and I love my curves. I hate her because society says I’m not hot unless I look like her. I say fuck them, I’m hot as is. Its a struggle daily but I’m starting to love me in my own skin. The me who has come to terms with the fact that I likes a cookie now and then, the fact that pasta is like crack and that a good piece of chocolate cake = heaven. If that means I’m Marilyn Monroe hot instead of Angelina Jolie hot so be it. Let her be happy with the celery. Pass the effing cheesecake.
The smoking thing - Neither is emphyzema or that weird thing it does to your voice so you sound like my high school lunch lady. You need to keep your hands busy with texting you know where to find me!
7 Steph // Mar 26, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Missy - It’s so weird. Some days, I’m all, “I’m so hawt, I wish I were Bill so I could do me.” Other days, it’s “Uggggoooooo. When did I start looking like Rosie O’Donnell???”
And yeah…I can keep doing what I’m doing and stay the same size. Or I can go insane trying to get thin. Um. Yeah. I’ll keep fatassing it on the couch. kthxbai.
Okay…you better remember that you said I could text you when I was jonesing, dude. LOL.