Now, look here, O Long-Gone Uterus o’ mine, I thought we established that we broke up. It wasn’t pretty, and neither of us came out of the relationship unscathed. But we did break up permanently. So, I’m not sure why you’re still haunting me with ghostly cramps. You are not there. You cannot be cramping because you are off wandering with the other free-range uteruses (uterii?). I really don’t appreciate this drama from you, especially not when my remaining bits don’t seem to realize that you’re gone and so are behaving as normal, up to and including the very nasty bouts of PMS I’ve been suffering…well, I haven’t been suffering so much as making the people around me suffer. But I digress.
I know breaking up is hard to do, and I know that it’s really hard to not be a part of my life anymore. I mean, I’d be sad if I couldn’t hang out with me, too. However, we’re done, fini, over. It’s time for you to move on. Really.
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1 response so far ↓
1 missy // Oct 24, 2007 at 8:35 am
Sympathy pains? Perhaps so because I am legitimately dying of cramps as we speak. Send me some nice flowers when I die from them kthxbai?