Pssst. C’mere. Yeah, you. I have a secret, but I want it just between us, okay? Don’t tell Bill — he’ll want to fix it, and there’s no fixing this.
Tonight, we were at Lenna’s homecoming game (yeah, yeah, I’ll put up pictures later), and I was sitting with Tricia. This thought crossed my mind, “If we ever have a baby boy, I’d like to name him Peter or John.” Then? It hit me. Like a ton of very heavy bricks made of cast-iron sorrow.
My baby-having days are over. They ended June 25, 2007. There will be no little baby boys or girls scampering through this house after Tricia. I will never get to use my “pregnancy” tag again, at least in relation to myself. There will never be another newborn for me to ooh and aah over. Tricia was the last, and dear God, it’s going too fast.
Don’t start in about how we can adopt. I know what kind of hell people go through to do that, and between you and me, I’d never make it past the criminal background check. I know this for a fact. Don’t ask me to explain because I won’t. At least not right now.
For right now, why don’t we sit on my couch and snuggle under some blankets and go through my boxes of photos? We can ooh and aah over how quickly time passes, and we can marvel at how far all three of my little rats have come. Maybe we can even have a piece of chocolate or two.
Just make sure to bring Kleenex, okay? I’m going to need a few lot coupla boxes.
Related:
Loading ...
You've got something to say? Great. That goes here. First time commenters have to go through the moderation process, but after that, you're all set. Unless you're a complete buttface.
1 response so far ↓
1 Second Thoughts on a Hysterectomy? // Oct 15, 2007 at 6:15 pm
[...] Is Steph over at The Stephford Diaries having long-term regrets about hers? Or, just a passing phase that led to her blog : Rip Out Womb in Haste, Repent in Leisure? [...]