So, about a year ago, we were busily packing up to move from the ‘hood to Stepford. We decided that packing would be a great time to get rid of some of our useless crap unused items.

So, we’re in Lenna’s room cleaning it out. Now, this chore isn’t a whole lot of fun to begin with as the kid has enough toys for any five kids, and not a one of those toys is put away. But I feel a rant coming on, so let me get to the real story.

We’re slowly but surely making progress with the keep & toss piles when we get to the play kitchen. Oh, the play kitchen, much-loved and much-used, then suddenly discarded like…well, like something that’s been suddenly discarded. (It’s late. I can only be so clever.)

Bill opens one of the drawers to see if there’s anything in there Lenna wants to keep. Lenna realizes Bill is opening the drawer and proceeds to freak. right. out. She tells him there’s nothing in there, close it, yaddayaddayadda.

At this point, Bill and I are both totally puzzled, then the smell hits us. To quote Mr. Krabs, it was a “smelly smell that smelled…smelly.” In other words, it was bad. Very, very bad. Like a litterbox with no litter that had been sitting out in the desert sun while, say, a pride of lions had been using it.

“What the…?” I say. Bill asks Lenna what is going on, and she bursts into tears. This is the ensuing conversation…

Bill: Lenna. It’s okay. What happened? Did the cats go potty in here?
Lenna: :sob: NooOoooOO.
Matt: :subdued laughter:
Lenna: Shut. Up. Matt. You said I could!
Bill: Wait. Matt said you could do what?
Lenna: Pee in my kitchen!! :wails:
Bill: Wait. You peed? In your kitchen?
Lenna: :wails more: YEEeeeeeEEeeeSSssssssSS!
Matt: :totally unrestrained laughter:
Bill: Matt, be quiet. Lenna, why would you pee in your kitchen?
Lenna: :more wailing: I don’t KNOOOoOooOOoOOWWWwwww!

Through all of this, I have maintained distance both to hide my own laughter and to get away from the stench. Bill, being the superman that he can be sometimes, hugs our oldest girl and goes about the business of getting the smelly kitchen out of the house.

We still won’t buy her a new kitchen.