The Stephford Diaries

“In our case, we intend to provide conditional cash transfers-using privately raised money-to families of at-risk youngsters to encourage parents and young people to engage in healthy behavior, and to stay in school, stay at work, and stay on track to rise out of poverty.
Well, I was all ready to be fired up about this, [...]

You know, I have a lot of sympathy for celebrities. It has to suck to not be able to schlep to the store in your sweats for a pint of Ben & Jerry’s without some asshat taking a kazillion photos of you.
Having said that, I now feel compelled to point out that celebrites *sign up* [...]

But the marine explorer Jean-Michel Cousteau criticised how Irwin would “jump on animals”. He said: “You don’t touch nature, you just look at it, and that’s why I’m still alive.”
What a fucking *tool this guy is. I don’t give a shit if it’s true or not, that’s a disgusting thing to say right now. And [...]

If you have a MySpace and you haven’t friended my husband (http://www.myspace.com/mrbilll), you should. (Just send the request. I’ll make him approve it.) And here’s why…
25. Lets say a brick fell on your foot, and your kid is standing right next to you, what do you say?
“This brick is God’s way of saying you should [...]

Getty sent offers to all celebrity weekly editors, asking no less than $200,000 for them. Representatives from the agency even sent preview images to the editors, just to prove that it was not a case of fabricated photographs. They show Anna and Daniel in the hospital bed, with the smiling baby girl in Daniel’s arms, [...]

Sheriff: Race a factor in kidnap case:
“What we’re dealing with here is a terrible family tragedy with some unfortunate misunderstandings and some overreaction, perhaps on all sides - but not an attempt to terrorize anybody,” Sisti said at Monday’s arraignment.
Yeah, honey, the rope and duct tape and gun? Those weren’t meant to *scare you. FFS.

Meanwhile, a 20-year-old woman whose identity was not disclosed was arrested for allegedly selling fraudulent Steve Irwin stickers she claimed would raise money for his Wildlife Warriors fund, the Australian Broadcasting Corp. reported Saturday.
Proof that people really do suck. Like his family’s not going through enough right now? I know, I know — there are [...]

Alright, maybe it’s just me, but isn’t this a shade poorly planned?
Don’t get me wrong — I love Amanda Peet. (The “Whole Nine Yards” is probably one of my favorite movies ever.) From all that I’ve read, she’s a pretty cool person, in addition to being a damn funny actress. So, if she wants a [...]

Well, I think I’m pretty sure I’m scarred for life. I just watched Brandon Walsh take an FBI agent hostage, after shooting up an FBI office. Okay, fine, it wasn’t *actually Brandon Walsh, but still.
All you 90s kids understand exactly what I mean.

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve been this way. I’ll try to keep up better with it from here on out. Sadly, though, there just isn’t much in the news that makes me feel compelled to comment these days. Yes, I’m self-centered. Sue me.
At any rate, I’m back, and I’m sure I’ll be bitching [...]