…smokes crack. :nod:

Mom: Well, I’m worried about Shirley ’cause she met this guy at match.com.
Me: Ok, but Shirl’s always met guys online.
Mom: Yeah, but this is different. She went to a psychic and the psychic –
Me: She went to a psychic? Like a live one? Or one on the Internet?
Mom: :big sigh: I don’t know. Probably a live one. A live one, I’m pretty sure. Now would you shut up so I can tell this?
Me: I’m not stopping you. So what’d Madame Dottie have to say?
Mom: :cackle: SHUT UP so I can tell you!
Me: I’m not stopping you — what’d Madame Dottie have to say?
Mom: STEPHANIE!
Me: Fine…what’d the psychic have to say?
Mom: Well, the psychic told her she’d marry someone ten years younger than her. And this guy, Roger, is ten years younger. So I’m thinking Shirley might just up and marry this guy whether she likes him or not.
Me: Well, they say you can find your soulmate at match.com, Mom. Haven’t you seen the commercials?
Mom (INDIGNANT): That’s *e-harmony,* Steph. Gaw.

I laughed for a good ten minutes. Seriously. Oh, and for those of you who don’t know who Madame Dottie is, she’s the fortuneteller on one of the games at Pogo. :grin: But the part that got me was the match.com vs. e-harmony bit. Oy…still gets me. Ok, then she goes on to tell me about her walk…

Mom: So did I tell you what happened on my walk the other day?
Me: Nuh uh.
Mom: Well, I found three dollars.
Me: That’s cool.
Mom: Yeah, then I took a header.
Me: Wait…what?!
Mom: Yeah, I just fell down…
Me: :mad cackling:
Mom: That’s not even the worst. The worst is that I didn’t just fall down, I fell down and tore my clothes up and stuff.
Me: :more cackling:
Mom: Yeah, still not the worst. *Two* different cars stopped and asked if I needed help.
Me: Oh…my…God…(I can’t even describe the laughing that went on then.)
Mom: Yeah, so I figure the three bucks and the falling sort of struck each other out.
Me: Hell, Mom, I’ll pay you ten bucks just for telling me that story.

I love my mama.